Disclaimer: This is a rant.
We live in a world that's as convoluted as a ball of wool that's been with a curious cat for a couple of hours. Sometimes, stranger than fiction (like a bad Bollywood movie, if you will). This is a place where people greet each other with wide smiles and a dagger behind their backs, where you either behave in a way that's politically correct and head back to your cocoon and crib about how something or the other is wrong with every person you meet or completely avoid the discomfort and give 'social' gatherings a miss and sit in the warmth of your blanket and wonder what everyone is up to. You pretend like nothing's wrong and you are the most cheerful person that anyone is ever going to encounter. You do not want them to know about 'silly' things that disturb you, that make you question your decisions and the life you choose to call your own. Nonetheless, you are constantly checking your phone to see if there's someone you can turn to, to express what you feel. But your WhatsApp list throws up a list of names that you don't bare everything with, for the fear of being judged and misquoted. You over-think and imagine consequences that may be way different from what they are in actuality. But this is a risk you do not want to take. You stomach every feeling you feel, every emotion that your gut experiences and put on a fake brave face. You go on with life. More happy things followed by equally disturbing occurrences. You forget the feeling of happy, you forget the feeling of sad. This continues for days, months and years. You fail to open up and share things with those who think they deserve to know everything about you and take it upon themselves to protect you from your own feelings. But here's the catch. When you were silent, their problem was that you did not speak. When, much against your will, you did say it, all you heard was "You have a mental problem. You need medical help!" Little did they know that medical help would be needed only to confirm rigor mortis. Of the body. And soul!
This is a piece dedicated to a dear friend who could not distill himself from the worldly concoction and decided to end the drama. R.I.P Gyan!
We live in a world that's as convoluted as a ball of wool that's been with a curious cat for a couple of hours. Sometimes, stranger than fiction (like a bad Bollywood movie, if you will). This is a place where people greet each other with wide smiles and a dagger behind their backs, where you either behave in a way that's politically correct and head back to your cocoon and crib about how something or the other is wrong with every person you meet or completely avoid the discomfort and give 'social' gatherings a miss and sit in the warmth of your blanket and wonder what everyone is up to. You pretend like nothing's wrong and you are the most cheerful person that anyone is ever going to encounter. You do not want them to know about 'silly' things that disturb you, that make you question your decisions and the life you choose to call your own. Nonetheless, you are constantly checking your phone to see if there's someone you can turn to, to express what you feel. But your WhatsApp list throws up a list of names that you don't bare everything with, for the fear of being judged and misquoted. You over-think and imagine consequences that may be way different from what they are in actuality. But this is a risk you do not want to take. You stomach every feeling you feel, every emotion that your gut experiences and put on a fake brave face. You go on with life. More happy things followed by equally disturbing occurrences. You forget the feeling of happy, you forget the feeling of sad. This continues for days, months and years. You fail to open up and share things with those who think they deserve to know everything about you and take it upon themselves to protect you from your own feelings. But here's the catch. When you were silent, their problem was that you did not speak. When, much against your will, you did say it, all you heard was "You have a mental problem. You need medical help!" Little did they know that medical help would be needed only to confirm rigor mortis. Of the body. And soul!
This is a piece dedicated to a dear friend who could not distill himself from the worldly concoction and decided to end the drama. R.I.P Gyan!
